The toxic relationship cycle – are you doing this?

Over the last few days since my online workshop Get rep ready, I have had lots of really interesting conversations with photographers, and some of those made me think about relationship patterns and toxic cycles.

In a relationship, a partner can mirror your unresolved issues.

But your agent (and potentially client) relationship(s) can work this way too.

You may not be in a romantic relationship with them (if you are, it might be a double whammy!), but your own unexamined beliefs about your art, your career or your value can all affect their behaviour towards you.

You project, they reflect.

If you have an underlying belief that your work is not quite “enough,” you may subconsciously gravitate toward agents who also treat your work as not quite enough, perpetuating a cycle of insecurity. (Perfectionism sucks).

Just like someone jumping from one unhealthy romantic relationship to another, you may hop from one agent to the next, hoping the new one will be different.

But the pattern remains the same – neglect, poor communication, unfulfilled promises, or a lack of real investment. You focus on the agent’s flaws rather than asking, “What part of me is allowing this cycle to repeat?”

It’s no secret that when you work with me I’m part photo-therapist. I love this stuff.

When I dive into your work, uncover who you REALLY are, encourage you to build your brand around that, then help you develop personal work with depth, we’re going deep, and sometimes you discover some ‘stuff’ you may never have uncovered before.

Most of that is GOOD stuff which maybe you’ve buried or ignored.

It’s what you knew deep down when your rep OR even beloved life partner told you to remove that shot from your folio, even though you thought it was the most meaningful image you ever made.

Like the agent who told one of my clients they should focus on luxury travel and removed all his honest, raw, spirited joyful images. (Thank goodness we nipped THAT in the bud.)

So in spite of the ‘toxic’ heading, I’m here today to remind you to dig into who you really are as a lens based image maker and flawed human. (No doubt it’s those flaws which make your work so amazing).

To keep revisiting your goals and vision, one which isn’t clouded by what you think you should do but is honest and reflects who you really are.

And to continue to make work which harnesses that knowledge so that you inspire the right people. And that includes your target audience, as well as some of the hard working, devoted reps out there.

Because it’s YOUR time to drive this goddamn bus.